Because it’s increasingly true that you can indeed find anything on the Internet, here’s a brand-new way for Morrissey fans to kill an hour: by listening to a robot recite the former Smiths frontman’s full Wikipedia entry out loud for a full 59 minutes and 54 seconds.

After first battling cancer in 2007, Philip Chevron — who first joined The Pogues shortly after the release of the Celtic rockers’ 1984 debut Red Roses For Me — this week announced that his cancer is back, and that, this time, it’s “inoperable and will prove fatal in time, though it is at present impossible to measure life expectancy.”

In the wake of the death last week of Scott Miller — the 53-year-old frontman of ’80s college-rock act Game Theory and later, through much of the ’90s, The Loud Family — friends have launched an online funding drive to raise money to support the “educational future” of his daughters Valerie, 10, and Julianne, 7.

The readers of Slicing Up Eyeballs named The Cure’s grim third album ‘Faith’ as the best record of 1981, an accolade that led then-drummer Lol Tolhurst to reflect this week on that “very emotional and intense period of my life,” and thank fans for the fact that the album “still resonates with people all these years later.”

Parents of young children or fans of cartoons in general may want to tune in to this afternoon’s installment of “Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated” on the Cartoon Network: Today’s episode, “Dance of the Undead,” celebrates 2 Tone-era ska music and features two songs recorded just for the show by Dave Wakeling.

Released from jail on his own recognizance, Peter Murphy pleaded not guilty Tuesday to misdemeanor DUI and drug charges stemming from an alleged Los Angeles-area hit-and-run over the weekend — and his attorney indicated the singer still plans to embark on an extensive tour next month.

Former Bauhaus frontman Peter Murphy was being held in a Southern California jail on Monday on $500,000 bond while facing DUI, felony hit-and-run and meth possession charges in connection with an incident over the weekend in which he is alleged to have rear-ended a vehicle and fled the scene.

Noting his contributions “to the music and cultural scene of Minneapolis for over four decades,” the mayor of Minnesota’s largest city has declared Thursday — Valentine’s Day to most — also will be Slim Dunlap Day, honoring the former Replacements guitarist who suffered a debilitating stroke a year ago.

Nearly a week after news broke that Morrissey was hospitalized in Michigan with what would turn out to be a bleeding ulcer, the former Smiths frontman has made his first comments on the matter in his customary form: a wry, written statement issued to fansite and quasi-official mouthpiece True To You.

Sonic Youth is no stranger to guitar thefts, and Thurston Moore has been victimized again. He reports via the band’s Facebook page that his “iconic” circa-1966, decal-encrusted black Fender Jazzmaster was stolen from a Best Western hotel at 501 N. 22nd St. in Philadelphia around midnight last night, 12/12/12.

Morrissey today discounted rumors that he plans to retire in 2014, providing a statement to fansite True To You that says, ‘Morrissey would like to stress that reports of his ‘retirement,’ as excitably earmarked by several newspapers and websites, are ‘wishful thinking’ on behalf of the writers.’

The process of putting the late John Peel’s legendary record collection — reportedly numbering 26,000 LPs and 40,000 7-inches — online has begun, with the first 100 titles in his ‘A’ section debuting today at The Space. Each week through Oct. 1, the first 100 titles under each letter of the alphabet will join the site.

Taking a page from Depeche Mode’s Alan Wilder, guitarist Porl Thompson this month will auction off dozens of personal items spanning his tenure(s) in The Cure, including a guitar played on ‘Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me’ and ‘Wish,’ album artwork proofs and clothing ranging from a ‘black net catsuit’ to leather corsets.